And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
