he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
