You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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