i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
