I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
