Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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