Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
