I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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