this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
