I can't breathe out the right side of my face
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
