do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
