dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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