i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize