We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
