just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
