Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I lost the right to judge tonight
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
