Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
