Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize