Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
