I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF