Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
