oh good, I think they're gone
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?