Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.