kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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