Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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