Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
