We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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