hotel room ftw
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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