i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
