I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
