i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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