I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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