So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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