you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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