Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
