yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
