At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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