I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
