Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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