I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
