Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
