Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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