I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
