Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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