She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
