batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
