the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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