WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
