do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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