I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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