I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
how does that bad decision feel?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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