I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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