Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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