At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
