i think my tv is drunk
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
