I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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