I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize