Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
