she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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