bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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