I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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