You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize