why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
