if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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