i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
