she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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