I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
